I keep a list of funny memories that happen when I travel.
I write down short notes about missing buses, things people say, dumb situations we get stuck in, friends we meet, etc.
I love reading them later and laughing.
Our trip to Chile/Argentina was different. It was really hard, stressful, exhausting and disappointing.
Instead of recording funny memories (we couldn’t really think of any), we decided to record ways people had shown us kindness. The list grew quickly.
For a little context, our family can be difficult to be around, and we often find ourselves in environments and situations where there are no other toddlers.
It is important to me that Beckham learns to be flexible and adaptable.
It is important to me that Beckham is surrounded by people that are different than him and he learns to love and accept everyone, as well as feel confident in who he is as a person.
So we travel.
I also love traveling and exploring and I hope continuing this lifestyle with Beckham will encourage him to live a similar life (though I often wonder if it will just make all of us go off of the deep end haha).
I want to share a few stories about ways people showed us kindness during our South America trip.
Our “danger zones” are enclosed spaces (buses/airplanes), places where you are supposed to not touch things (stores/museums), environments where you should be sitting and not screaming (restaurants), and situations where you should be listening (tours/talking with others).
We have a lot of danger zones.
We never expect people to bend over backward for us. We try to keep a low profile (I know, that’s a joke) and do our thing with Beckham.
Yet time and time again, people observe us struggling and go out of their way to show us kindness.
On this trip I was overwhelmed by the love people showed our family.
We missed the first ferry to get into Torres del Paine (long story but it was 100% my fault haha). We had to wait 90 minutes for the next one. Beckham threw rocks the entire time. I heard my voice get higher and more strained as I kept asking him to stop. We almost got to dog-whistle pitch.
A couple sat down on the ground next to us and just fawned over Beckham.
To pass the time, they talked to us (instead of keeping their distance, like I probably would have haha) and gave Beckham little candies. He would sprint off with one, then sprint back to get another as soon as he had finished eating it.
Everyone in line smiled at the little blonde boy that was throwing rocks into the river and happily stuffing candies into his pockets. Everyone benefited from their kindness.
Our ATM cards were not working and Beckham was in RARE form at the bus stop (where the ATM was). Well…..rarer than usual haha. He was screaming and convulsing on the ground while we tried to figure out what to do, since we were out of cash. People waited patiently behind us as the line grew longer and longer.
Surprising as it sounds, these are the situations that make it really hard to think straight and make me snap haha.
Moroni, a local in Puerto Natales, watched us struggling and becoming more and more desperate.
He walked over us and offered to help. He brought us to his truck and drove us around Puerto Natales until we found an ATM that worked.
He was able to get Beckham to calm down (even though we couldn’t) by giving him stickers and talking to him in that way that people who are good with children can.
He even dropped us off at our accommodations after so we wouldn’t have to get an Uber, even though we tried to politely refuse.
It was his day off of work and he had been on his way to go fishing. He hugged me so tight at the end and I wanted to cry.
He told me, “I have kids. I get it.”
Our tour guide in Calafate was so patient with our family. We decided to have a “Beckham day” and take him to do something he would like.
We thought a tour of an estancia would be right up his alley, but it turned out to be a guided walking tour with a bunch of senior couples. Beckham lasted for about…..four seconds haha.
Our tour guide was phenomenal with Beckham. She played with him, encouraged him to run around, and lightened up the mood in the group when Beckham threw tantrums in front of other paying customers and we tried to pretend to understand everything the guide was saying.
She even picked him up to hold him, though he had not bathed in at least a week, and made him laugh. He loved her.
In one of our transports, we didn’t bring Beckham’s car seat. We had left it at the hotel.
The 60 minute drive in the shuttle was very very very bad.
And then Beckham pooped.
We recognized the smell at the same time and looked at each other in horror.
Beckham was screaming and crawling all over, and the whole van smelled like baking poop. We had no way to change his diaper in a van, sitting next to other people.
Dan and I were mortified. We were exhausted from trying to remember everything we needed to pack each day, and we were exhausted from being on buses and enclosed spaces with Beckham.
This woman from Brazil asked to take pictures of Beckham. She somehow didn’t notice (chose not to notice haha) the erratic behavior, and made us feel like he was being adorable.
He ended up loving her, and we felt so much less ashamed for our lack of abilities.
In Calafate you had to pay to ride the horses, but we didn’t want to expense the extra cost. We explained to Beckham that we were there to see the animals only.
Beckham was a good sport about it, and actually didn’t throw a fit, even though he is obsessed with horses.
One of the guides saw how much Beckham loved the animals and said he could sit on the horse for a bit.
Beckham was in heaven.
After our failed hike to Grey Glacier, we came back early to the campsite. We were wet, freezing, and very discouraged.
We had been very careful to pack all of our food for the 4 days so we wouldn’t have to buy any expensive food in any of the refuges along the trail.
But we were tired and cold and I decided to buy $2 hot chocolates for everyone. Beckham was thrilled.
When I went to pay, the woman looked at Beckham, smiled, and said, “No, esta bien.”
We only saved $6, but it was definitely the high point of my very exhausting day. I put the money back in my pocket and smiled as we left the refuge.
Our tent flooded in the middle of the night and Beckham was getting so sick.
We fled to the refuge to get out of the freezing rain, and this woman helped us find warm and dry accommodations, even though our reservations were for the mud-hole camping area.
In the morning our family was up by 5 AM, like always…grrr… She played with Beckham while we tried to find a way to change our plans around and cancel the rest of our trip.
Maybe she was just excited for our family to leave the park hahaha, but Beckham had the time of his life coloring at the front desk, and we had a moment to think clearly and make informed decisions.
Beckham was the only toddler at any of the places we went on this trip.
This often makes me feel a bit anxious, because I know some people can judge us as “young parents” for being dumb.
On our last morning as we waited for the first ferry out of the park, One older guy from Texas told me, “This little guy is so lucky to have you guys as parents.”
He had watched us the past 24 hours. He watched Beckham run from us and throw himself in freezing mud puddles. He saw Beckham screaming for most of our day hike and me lose my mind at Dan. He watched Dan set up our tent in the freezing rain while I tried to chase Beckham out of other people’s tents.
I don’t think either of us really felt like good parents.
I felt so loved and accepted. I really needed those kind words at that moment.
On our attempted 50 mile hike (hahaha), Beckham’s shoe fell off. Beckham had been screaming for the entire hike, and both Dan and I were completely on edge.
I yelled at Dan in front of everyone and then ran back (with my giant pack) like a psychopath along the trail to find his shoe, frantically asking everyone in my bad Spanish if they had seen a croc.
We looked like the most ridiculous and psycho family ever, which is common for us haha.
While I was gone, some woman GAVE Beckham her own hat to put on his foot to keep him warm.
This would have been a very good opportunity to call us stupid parents, and to roll her eyes and pass us by.
Instead of judging, she was generous. Both with her assumptions and her belongings.
I was kinder to Dan after that.
Marco, the guy at the bike shop, spent way more time than he needed to showing us the best routes to bike on.
Beckham threw an absolute fit because he was exhausted, and he started throwing books and pamphlets in the store.
We flashed our biggest Cheshire Cat smiles while Beckham completely unraveled.
Marco smiled and made jokes about parenting with us. He has a young son, too, and he told us, “Hey. It’s the hardest job in the world. I always tell my childless friends that when they say they are tired. I’m like ‘YOU THINK YOU ARE TIRED??'”
It felt good to laugh.
I was really proud of myself for finding accommodations that I thought were close to the bus station, but it turned out they weren’t.
We were frantically trying to find the bus station (with limited time) and an Uber driver pulled over (noticing us looking sooo lost and sooo dumb haha) and offered us a ride for free to where we were going.
I was so stressed that I didn’t even recognize that he was an Uber driver until Dan told me later.
He may have saved us from missing the bus, which would have been a REAL problem.
The night before our 50 mile trek, we picked up our supplies.
People could not believe we were taking a toddler on the trek, but instead of chastising us or being condescending, they helped us choose the best gear and gave us discounted prices so we could keep Beckham warm with the highest quality gear.
One owner even gave us free walking sticks and another gave us some hand warmers for Beckham.
They were probably thinking, “You’ll be back after mile 2.” But instead they said, “That kid is going to be an avid hiker one day!”
We crossed the border from Argentina to Chile. Chile has a super strict policy on what food/plants you can bring into the country.
To save money when we travel, we try to buy groceries. We had just bought a giant bag of food before getting on the bus because I had read about the policy, but forgotten.
Not wanting to throw away a sack of cheese, fruits, vegetables, nuts and eggs, we stuffed our faces before getting off of the bus.
When we arrived, Beckham ran through the security lines like a maniac and threw himself on the floor in front of everyone.
Dan and I had just about had it. We were feeling sick (from the sack of food we ate haha) and irritated.
To be honest, it wasn’t Beckham’s fault. He hadn’t slept for about a week and we were trekking him around in a backpack on half of the sleep he normally gets at home. We can only ask so much from a two year old.
I stood in line, humiliated about Beckham’s behavior. An older woman came up to me, put her hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Hey mom. You’re doing a good job.”
Her kind words spoken aloud caused others around her to agree with her.
My world stood still as I felt how much I had needed to hear that positive reinforcement.
These are just some of the stories that we recorded. I could write for hours about the people that chose kindness over judgement, impatience or frustration.
These people are the type of people that I want to be like, to surround myself with, and learn from.
They encourage us to practice kindness, patience, empathy, generosity, understanding, grace and gentleness.
It’s interesting to me that I will probably never see any of those people again. And they will probably never remember us. But I wanted to record these stories so we never forget those people.